Wednesday, May 23, 2007


I can further proof that I’m actually surrounded by more idiots. Ever since the big move last Saturday 19th May 2007. I’ve been dreading the part whereby I would moved here and my freedom would be totally snatched away from me. I need to bend to the laws of idiotics and what not.

Today is the 3rd day without reading my friends blogs. It is driving me crazy as I do not know what is happening in the world of cross stitching. Not only that, I am trying to posts whenever I get a few minutes.

I am writing this on to a Words document and then copied it to blogger. I typed using no 6 fonts so that they cant see what I typed. Well if it does not makes sense to any of the people who reads my frustrated blog….well too bad. I am typing straight from head/heart so all supposed to be true and not grammar check in my head.

I am annoyed with DW’s work attitude. I don’t know what goes thru his head to think that he is the boss and can order me around. I seriously wish that I can kicked him

Today is a grumpy week….so would only posts grumpy rants to get myself sane again due to shifting office.

I signed up with Carol to post freebies but have not been able to do so. Truly sorry Carol. I would find time to do it the moment none of the boss is watching me.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Fish Bone Update

The fish bone has sprout roots and firmly embedded in my neck. I am nervous this morning.

I can't believe that the 2 ladies said I am slow in my computer skill. Fish and chips!! Why don't you just come out right and claim that my skin tone does not blends well in your surroundings. Bitches!!

How fast do you think, a person can draw a plan with lift lobby of A0 size in one day with no dimesions or any information. Fish and chips!! The Chinks are starting to get under my skin.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Beating of My Heart

I am one walking nervous wreck female homosapien at the moment. All because of tomorrow.

One thing for sure right now, I am feeling feverishly sick. Why? You asked me? Coz this dumb girl have a small fish bone stuck by the side of her neck. It had lodged itself deep within the neck tissue that I cannot do anything just to wait for it to dissolve. And that would take a longggg time.

Not a happy rabbit at the moment. I hope I don't fall sick tomorrow.

Going to rest my eyes now...too tired.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

BYOB or Bring Your Own Bag Day

SG launches the not use of plastic bags whatever campaign on wed, 1st week of the month. To use recycle bag instead. The thought is good for our Earth but they failed to see one thing....which is clearly right under their nose.

The freaking pigeon holes aka flat that we lived in had the refuse chute located far from the holes....can you imagine me carrying my raw fish carcass, soiled sanitary pads, over-cooked food and simply dumped them into the chute!! We have been told to dump into a plastic bag and then into the refuse chute. What an idiot!! How does cutting down on plastic bag helps the environment when you did not think of the proper solution in the first place.

Have you thought of replacing the plastic bags with paper bags? Bio-degradable bags? Restricting it to just one day of the month is not helping nor changing anything. It does not create awareness. People just dont shop on that day, they can shop another day. Big deal! About 80 to 90% of people lived in flats...we dont have special bins where we can separate our waste products = paper, plastic, glass, metal, compose. And I dont think the garmen provides that at every single flats in the country. Considering that we have like over 50 families in one flat and you gonna provide 5 bin each?? Multiply that by the number of flats around SG.......alot of bins.

Out of My Life

Just an update...G is totally gone out of my life. He is not worth the effort. He never kept his words!! I'm not upset but glad it's over as I can't go thru with another person lying to me again...I still have issues to settled with D.

What my mum Thinks??

My mum thinks that those who work in office is having an easy life compare to those who stayed at home, take care of children & clean the house.

She firmly believes that going to office meant staring aimlessly at pc. By miracle the work get done. By miracle we dont have to move our butt in order to fax, photocopy, had a stupid discussion with out fellow colleagues. By miracle, we would stand, get pushed around in train and spends close to 3hrs in travelling time.

If I could trade a week with her. I would like to see how she performs all my work then. And If I were to be a SAHM, my son wouldn't be fat as what he is now. In order to calm him down, they had resorted to feed him with nonsensical crackers, sugared drinks, jelly and 3 times a day with 3 scoops of cereal added to his milk.

My freaking mum is killing my son. And my eldest sisters who actually failed to realised even when the matter is right under her nose...that both her son is obese due to over-feeding....she supported my mum saying that children should be allwoed to eat.

I'm sorry if you all have to read about me...cursing/swearing/hurl hurtful remarks towards my mum and eldest sis...but the truth is the truth. I can't hide the fact. They are both plain stupid.

E.g. with eldest sis to her eldest son, your Makcik (3rd aunt in Malay & which is me) stupid & doesn't know anything about computer, she does know how to burn any songs for you on to a cd nor download it on the MP3 player. I'm stupid??

E.g. with mum...when I wasn't working and had no have boobs...and you need to support your what do you? hijack your mum's ugly brown-coloured bra. Till today she grumbles that I steals her bras when she knew that I stopped that eversince I started working.

Yesterday was my mum's 60th birthday...eldest sis called and asked me about mum's boobs size....I told her, why in freaking Hell were you asking me about it...have you thought of asking her instead!!! She said that I used mum's bra....that actually does it...I can tolerate one old idiot and but another younger idiot who also thinks that way...that just pissed me off....I blow up at her.

Home time....mum was telling me indirectly it was her birthday. I appreciate that you reared me for your own benefits as when you get older, need money can blackmail me emotionally with your sobbing tales. I appreciate that you takes care of my son instead of throwing him out of the window knowing very well he is fatherless.

I don't expect my son to take care of me during old age. I'm thinking of getting myself registered into an old folks home when I reached 50. Well, that or I'll poisoned myself.

I did not wished my mum anything as there wasn't any need & I don't feel it. I can't be someone who can fakes a relationship. I'm more like a straight in your face kind of person.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Idiot Day Today

I am so pissed off....DW is freaking, fuck-up, speaks absolutely terrible English, idiotic, balding prick!

He can't asked the big boss when the office is going to be shifted. He said why don't I asked him. Duh I could have done that ages ago but the fact that he think I'm a brainless female in a male world. He would just nod, smile like an idiot as always and then said later...he would check with DW first. Bloody MCP!!

Only reason why I am tolerating the 2 fucked up, backward people - One from South Korea and the other from Myammar because I need the money to pay my bills.

Freaking backward, dim-witted, low self-esteem (FBDWLSE) male monkey cant take the CM photos...he think he is too good for such work. He thinks that his so-called qualifications is too good to take photos. I've told him that the place is residential and if you instruct a Bang worker to take photos....these typical peanuts civilians thinks that the BW is going to rape/rob/murder them. Thinks that these workers is so low class and shouldn't be seen anywhere near their house. So pathetic. Just because of one black blame the whole crowd...well people is no perfect either.

I am so pissed off today.

Would post in detailed later. At least I felt better and not so angry as before. I'm in my right frame of mind to ask the bos when he plans to terminate me. So much easier rather than wait to be slaughter. I shall start closing my works/filing and apply for the necessary things. Would start searching for greener grass next month.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Flipping Cat-tired

The post should have read dog-tired....since I'm not crazy about dog...wrote cat instead. Never seen a tired cat...more like laid-back, cool cat. Not a cares in their world....sashay here and there. Ah cat...and ANTM is so similar.

Don't know why but I have been really tired these past few days. I need a massage on my shoulder and my fingers from all the typing at work. My poor over-abused tired fingers. So much so that I've begin typing with my middle fingers instead. Yes I am a point fingers (the one after the thumb) people.

I need my bed...I need my sleep...I'm cracking my head to do simple cross-stitch designs. Why? Because I feel like doing something with my head, hand and do something! Period.

Heart Did a Jump

I could have sworn that my heart nearly jump out of my chest. G called me today. just few mins ago.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Listen to Class95FM - 150407

I listen to them (GO and FD) whenever I feel like listening but in actual fact, I enjoyed listening to the Eurasian fart dishing out his wackiness each morning with GO. Those 2 guys are beyond wack. I still prefer Joe Augustine though.

Today they were talking about tearing down the National Stadium in June to make way for a new one. What are your fondest memories?

Fondest memories....forced to voluntary signed for the flash card contigent when I was in Balestier ITE. It was fun/hot/stupid/interesting/funny/glowing experience.

Fun : We get to do something enjoyable besides attending class.

Hot : Well you know what is the weather like in Singapore. Hot wooden bench to rest my tired bum.

Stupid : Follow the lights and flip the huge card. Even that simple instructions...alot of students can't followed it.

Interesting : They served us with Filet O' Fish (Mc Donald) every time we had rehearsal. We get 1 or 2 bottles of mineral water. 1 apple. 1 round bread sliced half and stuffed with fish fillet (basically that wit no tartar sauce or anything)...wrapped with Mc Donald blue wrapper. So I know who is sponsoring the food. I Never get tired eating that same old stuff. It's delicious...why because it is fish. I LOVE fish.

Diverted : I eat fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Would never grow tired of eating them every single day. Favourite fish dishes...well can't decide as there is alot of them. Indian Mackeral in Spicy & Sweet Chilli Sauce (Sambal Ikan kembong). Indian Mackeral in Soy sauce (Ikan Kembong Kicap). Fish with alot of bones (dont know the name) that is stuffed with spicy coconut and grilled (Ikan Terubok dgn Sambal Kelapa Bakar). Stingray cooked in spicy and sour sauce (Asam Pedas Ikan Pari). Anchovies fried with black sauce and dried chillies (Ikan Bilis Kicap Pedas)

Enough about Sedap.

Memorable experiences, knowing my 2 sisters (1st & 2nd) performs for the National Day. All 3 sisters have performed, except the youngest of course. I went twice to watch the parade as a spectator. Enjoyed everything Singapore.

Went once to the stadium just to watch fireworks eventhough we dont have tickets to enter. But being there and soking the atmosphere was priceless.

Can I Kicked Myself on my A**

Patience finally cracks on me last night. G came to office and it dawns upon me that I like him but he is not a husband nor a father material. He is not responsible enough. He is not caring enough. He is not alot of things.

The part when you loved someone, you must accepts his shortcomings or handicaps just does not apply to me.

I hated the way he eat his food. The way he wasted his food. The way he ordered me around. The way he tries to tame me. Sorry dear, I ain't buying into being a servant wifey thingy character.

He is too loud. He is too open. He talks without concern if people could listens to his crazy words. He is childish in listening to loud music on train.

I'm listing all the points here. Well I am trying to lists down the points that irritates me alot. He uses vulgar words. Like F**K U in Hokkien. Darn, I am not going out with a Secret Society. The most I would do is flash a person if I'm annoyed but not FO like in every other sentence.

Back to work now.

Finally Happens

I called Donkey last night at 11pm saying that we are going to sit down on of these days and talked about his future. His reply....that would be nice. Uh? Nice?

Well that got me off-balance for awhile. Anyway, whatever it is...going to finally discussed the whole crap about not staying married to him. And to get him to signed the divorce letters as soon as possible.

Now to look for the auspicious day.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Increase the Ministers Pay

I dare not comment on such big issue. But all I can say is why bother announcing. When THEY decided to increase much talked about it and debate about it...eventually it sticks.

And increase pays...much talked about it and debate over it. And they are going ahead with it...DUH.

Seriously, I don't think that there is a need to even discuss with the public on what THEY planned to do or going to do. We are a Nation where we follow (with questions, debate & discussion = accept whatever) what THEY said or meted out to us. And the whole point of having a discussion? Not practical.

In other words, if you are not happy with the way or things that are done here...please move to another country. Bottom line.

All who have decided to wear the corpse uniform, should typed/print out and signed the below declaration.

I,..................................., Identification No/Passport Holder..............who pratically don't like how certain things are run or done here and after serious weighing on my options plus considering my future. I have learnt to accept what is being thrown to me. I may argue and gives my feedback in an orderly manner but I would accept without further questions once the decision have been finalised.

I should treasured my indirectly-caged up freedom; knowing the fact that if I go to other countries, I maybe discriminate for my skin tone or religion. And always keep in mind that I should never ever hope for any support without paying it in advance first.


It is Too Late

I called G on sunday morning. Adam spoke to him. "Sudah makan", "makan apa" and then he starts his version of English...all gibberish but sounded like English words.

I dont remember the whole conversation but it went something like, it's too late. Too late for what? He is going to make the donkey signed the divorce papers. Are you serious about marrying me? Yes I am. But I'm not in a hurry to get married. Neither do I. Maybe when I am 43years old, in 10 years time. But I won't be 43years old in 10years time. I'm only 31 can 31 plus 10 be 43? More like 41yrs old. So you can wait for 10yrs?

We started laughing. Nice feeling but scary at the same time.

Why I termed it nice? Nice as in there is a guy who is crazy enough and wants to marry me.

Scary? What if he turns out to be like another Donkey? I can't take any chances on my life again. If only they come with flashing screen on their forward. Flashing FALSE & TRUE? It is so much easier to make choices that way. Now is like flipping a coin. Hoping for head and you get the tail.

Let's not scare myself anymore. One steps at a time.

I'm at a stage whereby I hate the Donkey to the core. And wishes to see something bad happened to him for his evil deeds to me. But I can't wished for that as that is going to be bad karma for me. I'm sure what happens was for a purpose. Painful yet a learning experience. I would not be able to find in my heart to forgive him. I only hope that All Mighty would forgive him.

And at a stage of unsure about my feelings for G. Nice guy but not sure how true it is. No one is goody good. At least he helps me alot. I realised that last week that I did not missed nor talked to my imaginary friend. Seems like IF is slowly going away. I don't find the need to talked to my IF any longer. Thank you for that.

At Day without Mum - Part 2

Adam wakes up at 9:30am. I've feed him at 5:49am. 2nd feed was at 2pm. 3rd feed at 7pm. In between 10am to 2pm he had rice with chicken kurma (more like 7 tablespoons of it). Between 2pm and 7pm, he had home-made coleslaw and fried noodles (6 tablespoons). He eat by himself. We only allowed spoons, no forks.

At 3pm, I decided to do the laundry, wash all the windows and Adam sweeps all the rooms. As it was raining plus thunder & lightning, I end up sweeping the whole house by myself. He just went on to rest on the bed. Too tired &

As I slide my kitchen windows and looked out. I know that I can be happy staying at home, just with Adam. It was peaceful. I don't hear any nagging, complains nor stupid stories about my neighbours or her friend's sister's daughter stories.

Now I just need to find someone to finance me by staying at home, taking care of the kids and cross-stitch whole day. Plus travelling, shopping, stashing, indulgence....yeah right!

Adam sticks to me the whole day. Giving me kisses on my cheeks and hugging me. It is nice to feel wanted by your son. The only reason I can think of, why he is doing all this...his grandmother is not at home. He stuck with If grandmother at home....he couldn't give a hoot about his mum. I have to tricked him in order to hug him at times....little terror

At Day without Mum

Mum entered JB, My last Sat evening with eldest sis. Stayed the night at youngest sis house. Youngest sis is down. As in cant eat, cant drink, her round face have become long (details according to mum) and her swollen tummy (fat) had shrunk. (isn't that good??) She had lost alot of water and whatsoever as she have been vomitting eversince she found out that she is pregnant.

Mum had a stopover as her destination was to meet a man for youngest sis. To cure her not by scientific method. Malay's called it Bomoh but English calle dit witch doctor. Anyway the guy wasn't a witch or wizard. He just treat people using the Holy words. Faith in All Mighty.

Adam slept with me. He slept on the bed while I sleep on the mattress beside the bed, on the floor. It is comfortable sleeping on the floor than with him. I used to wake up every hour just to check on him (sleeping with him on the bed). If I had pressed on him. Each time he turns, I would wake up. Damn stressful.

I woke up around 5:49am and watched the telly. I watched my Japan Hour, 7th Heaven (last episode I supposed as all girls are having twins).

Ladies break....brb

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Can never teach a "Dimwit" new tricks.

Let's start with yesterday, 5 mins to 6pm.

Eversince DW wife's gave birth, he has been going home 1hr earlier each day. To me, it's none of my business even if he doesn't come to

So 5 mins before 6pm was his knocking off time from work. I seriously need to review my working hours again. I ends at 7pm while he gets pay much more than me and lesser hours in office. Darn!

He came in saying that Mr. Female Voice wants the data of the 2 inclinometers in 15 mins. Say what! 15 mins to get all the report from the year 2005 done. I ask DW, did you forget to mention that you don't do magic tricks. So, who ends up doing the work? ME! Of course, he is totally dependent on me that if given the opportunity he probably would not be able to shit before asking me to lift up the toilet seat for him.

How long did I take to do the work? 1hr. Because DW had to see what are the maximum readings first. And exporting out data from another software to another software is not that fast considering that it is a 3yrs worth of records. And DW keep hovering over me like a fly. Kept on asking if I'm done (when he should be doing the job in the first place) Just out of my normal common sense, why in the freaking Hell wouldn't Mr Female Voice approach me like 1hr earlier. Why does he have to wait for DW first in order to get the work done. The fact is DW doesn't do the work. He is practically DW to begin with no drop of common sense.

Seriously, I think Mr. FW (alias f**k well?? has a problem. I wonder why they keep on thinking me (woman) is stupid, brainless and totally clueless (hey I'm not blonde okay!!) Doesn't he realise by now that I'm a CAD operator cum secretary cum controlling workers & surveyors work schedules cum remembering what goes on in this Dept eversince the 1st boss and followed by 2nd boss departures. Men are so STOOOPIIIDDDD.

So today,

DW finishes at 12noon but goes off at 10:30am. That is some serious working hours problem in my contract! But before that, he had to hurry me with other totally unnecessary work which could be done by him.

DW went on site to check the settlement markers at Alju Road. He finds it different from the drawing that I gave him. He told me to change the location according to his inspections of the points. I told him that I can't do that as the original points must have been covered by soil thus the surveyor had it re-installed elsewhere and they did not submit to me the relocated as-built coordinates. I try telling him that 3 times and it doesn't get register into his thick skull. I checked with the Excel file and confirmed that the points have been relocated as it has been changed to A rev.

So I gave in (what's the point of talking to wall), open my drawing file and re-name it. What, you think I'm stupid just because DW is a "blonde" Change the settlement markers as per His Majesty wishes. Changed the excel file, and created a new excel file of re-initialise readings. Print out for him. DW is very happy and grinning to ear to ear. He said he would used this to submit to LAT. By all means, do it. I don't want any part of it.

After he left my office. I called the surveyor and told him to as-built the relocated settlement markers. After that is done, I would add that points to my original file. Men are STOOOOOPPPIIIIIDDDD. I don't bend/conform just to suit their need to see things done for their own convenience. I go by the book. I don't follow blind orders.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Found the Female Donkey Driver

They said Friday 13th is unlucky day but I not for me. I got lucky. (read post 10th Apr 07) I found you stupid, brain-dead female homosapien. She is a hazard to people on the road and to herself. Her car plate number is:


You think you can nearly hit me with your damn car and escaped? Not a chance, I would haunt you down like a worm under the stone. Your freaking crazy BITCH!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Short Break

G was down with fever/sickness last Monday. I got flustered as I can't call him and its like he disappeared from the surface of the earth.

Anyway, met G last evening at TYP. Just normal chat of 15mins. Why when I'm with him I can't think straight. I can't focus. I'm so aware of my surroundings. I'm aware of people looking at us. Anything that he says just go in straight thru me and never get it register in my head. It's like a giddy floating feeling. It really annoys me. It bothers me.

If I can't level my head, I'm losing my head. Darn!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Woman Makes the worse Drivers in Singapore

This morning on my way to usual 20mins of fast walk. Green light was on my side with the green man indicating that I can walk. Out of the side, a lady drives with her blue car trying to run me down. She pressed the horn twice!! What the f**k! I said and point at the traffic light. She quickly droves off. I should have take down her car number. She was turning into one of the minor road in Kallangway area (besides Solectron Bldg) I regretted not flashing my middle-finger to her. If she were to come out of the car and confront me, I would seriously kicked her with my safety shoes and make her stayed at home due to her shin being broken after a good kick from me.

2 - 4 weeks ago, an accident had occurred there. Between a car and a motorcycle. The very same area where I stood to cross the road.

Woman should never be allowed to drives on Singapore road. They are the most...correction. All the women that I've came across that drives is an IDIOT!! They are either freeking stupid, super brain-dead, too scared of other big cars or over-confident. Seriously they practically pissed me off. The best place for them to drives car is the bumper car at the fair.

I know one female bus driver that drives the bus 966 (morning). She drives slower than a snail and she jerks the damned bus like every 2 mins on the expressway.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Spick & Span

Talked to G over the phone last night at 9:30pm. He said that he prefers a room with just the bed, rug, table and wardrobe. WHAT!!!

So where do I put all my books, more books and yet more books. My fabrics, my cross-stitch kit, my beads, my ribbons, my everything?

He said in the store room....say what? Store room?...All those accumulated treasures in the store room? Is he mad? And I asked, what about my sewing machine? He said sewing machine can stays in the room. Phew! Safe! Well I did not mention that I intend to buy an overlock machine in the near future or embroidery machine...hehehe. One steps at the time.

He don't mind sleeping in a single bed either. Maybe easier to kick me out when sleeping....ouch! Let's not look into the future. I am letting the weird relationship runs its normal course. Besides I can plan now but things might not go according to my plans later. The bit about not going to my plans was like, I cannot see myself without my treasures. I can give him up but not my cross-stitching. Sorry dude.

He said that his mum went on holiday once and came home with all her things gone one day (he throws all of them out) She was angry for few days and then calmed down. Now much happier with more space in her room.

If he throws my things when I am gone on holiday, I would castrate him!!

So I am starting to look into the things which I really, really need. I have a long list of books that I am going to put up on my Ebay Store. A Japanese Doll. 3 Porcelain dolls and etc.

I'll be busy this Good Friday. Before I forget, need to get mask before I make myself sick again for the 3rd time in a row.

Holiday Tomorrow, Medical Leave Yesterday and Working Today

I was so sick yesterday that I dragged my aching body and tired ass out of the bed late. I was contemplating between work and the doctor at 9:30am in the morning. More medicines finally won me over. Along the way, I bought cake with a plastic sports car on top for Adam.

Went home. Eat extremely bland fried bee hoon. Confirm hospital food. Wash all my clothes. Sick and still washing your clothes? Yes...if I leave it to another day...I wont have anything to wear as I have my 6 days clothes for the past 1 year routine. It's just recently someone gaves me their new 5 polo t-shirts. So I have more t-shirts to skirts. I have green, yellow, chequered red, black, flowery skirts. Lack of one for the 6th day. Probably would make another 1 or 2 tonight.

Making skirts, my way would probably took me less than 3hrs as there are no zippers or elastic band. All measurements made to suit my bum frame.

Slept at 2pm and wakes up at 8:30pm. Went back to sleep again at 10pm. I've never been this tired before and I've not gone to Post Office to mail my exchange either.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Wrong Number

At 6:33pm today, I received a call from Donkey today. He said that he would called me once he finished from work today. I told him, don't you finished your work at 6? He said yes but still some work left to do. He repeat again that he would called me later after work.

It is really bothering me because I did not called him yesterday nor today. Not even an sms from me saying/telling/asking that I wanted to talked to him. why did he called and sounded as though he is returning my call?

That is so weird and I think he has been caught red-handed. Maybe he meant to call someone else but ends up u nconsciously dialing my number. And not knowing it was me, he just called to say what he would do.

Not a Safe Zone

I like working here but I dont like how some of them runs the work. It is not safe. I am straight and cant bend the rules. Although I am ok if the wall failed, factory breaks down due to on-going construction plus due to the fact that they are sitting on loose soils and early construction was a soddy job. But I have a problem if I have to go to jail for following my superiors order as they are verbal instructions. Nothing in black and white.

I am a spectator as well as a sitting-duck. So with that I concluded the beginning I was rather upset that Sam would not be having their own monitoring work...meaning I still be employed and can pay my house mortgage but after considering all that. I am glad that I would not continue working with them as I cannot land myself in hot soup just because my superiors told me to close my eyes.

Monitoring Consultant Team

The Lat guy was here this morning asking for more information and as usual claims that their pc is slow and buttering me up by saying that I am fast. Yeah right, L.

Anyway, what got me thinking was that he told me that from the new projects onwards....any monitoring would be done by the consultants and no longer by the contractor due to the Nicoll Highway collapse. That damn project collapses because no one paid attention to it. So as usual the 'big' people would put all the blame on the contractor doing it.

What crap, knowing how the systems run and your status in the could not just turned a blind eye to your work and not even bother to find out about it?? You shouldnt allow the contractor to spoon-feed get your bloody, enlarged mushroom ass down to site, walked around and spots checks, do unannounced inspection. Who is there to stop you since you are the 'big' shot. With all these random checks and your own initiative to find ut what really happen on in the world do you think that project would collapse.

So enough of the pointing out the obvious reasons. Sam is tendering for the down town MRT line which involves monitoring works. With what the Lat told me, I should start looking for a job in May - June. As Sam would not be having their own monitoring dept with all the increase in costs incurred each time they had to send the required instruments for servicing, calibration, repairs. That means cut costs in paying the local to operate the dept, paying the SR for earth, building monitoring works.

Maybe one of the reason why they send DBo back as they know that with the completion of this project...they dont need his expertise in running another dept.

But what is the funny aspect of what the Lat told me was that...the Lat would engaged a separate consultant to monitor all the to them and then they would send another copy of that report to the contractor. After going thru the info, the Lat would tell the consultant to take further readings to double-check, double-confirm. That is so funny. Even to process some simple thing....they take 3 weeks. What are the chances that the building do not collapse by then?

The reason is that they do not want the contractor to not give the first hand reading to them without being changed or further actions taken to rectify the mistakes. So the Lat is looking for easy money in a sense that when there is stop work order...project maybe be delayed by 1 month or 2 months and who would be paying to complete the project out of their own pocket...the contractor.

But I can't blame them entirely as there are people in Sam who tampers/modify/create with the data. The SR dont care about giving the actual results as long as the information suits what the Lat wants to see. The RS is a pig-headed and cant think/decide/enforce the rules considering that he is just on loan from the original company just to signs all documents and just for designation/title-wise sake.

I'm just a spectator.

Maintaining Relationship

I am doing maybe a daily journal of the things that goes on in my day each day...a recap. Or just a mind flow.

Monday came and I have like 4 or should I say 5 days of work that I need to clear but Dimwit keep appearing every 15 - 30mins asking if I have finished this, taken the reading for this and told me about the reduce in certain readings. And he does that all over again 2 or 3hrs later.

I like to work with my mind fully concentrating on what I'm supposed to do, have to do and not to be interrupted like every 2 secs. I was 1cm closed to calling him an idiot or locked my office door.

I put on my headphone and listen to the music over and over again. This time no one can complain as I am not disturbing or invading on their listening territory. And if they want to listen to any music...well tough luck as I'm not as obliging as before. I sick to my ass about being nice to people and then they walked all over me.

I cant never be like William...listening, keeping, analysing and very quiet. I am the ultimate chatter-box. I talked to my pc, I sing out loud, I talked to my imaginary person next to me. Very comforting knowing that IT never disagrees and what I say is right.

So G told me that he is going to airport to fetch his frens.

At midnight, frens not back as plane/flight got delayed in Dubai due to something which I cant hear clearly over the phone. I tried but things is really not working. I dont have hearing problem nor something wrong with my ears. It is when the other party couldnt pronounce the words clearly. Keep on gluing the whole sentence or perfect english words together.

At times, I feel ridiculous but I just kept quiet for fearing of offending the other person. So G asked if I had been to TYP. I paused, recalled back the whole events that leads me to TYP. And slowly I said yes. He asked if I was speaking/talking to some dude. I re-enact the whole events to him on what I had done and what I was doing. I told him that there is no way I was seen talking to or woman. He said that he have spies watching my movements. Yeah right....I'm like trapped in some James Bond kind of movie or what??

I told him slowly yet clearly that the next time...he so-called spies caught me talking to any living soul....please take a picture of me and prove it. I simply dont understand at all....why the need for his other frens to be watching me. Observing me, reporting all my moves to him. This is like ridiculous. Feels as though it is a crime to even talk to the shop-keeper.

Being in a relationship doesnt mean that you control someone like sheep to be slaughtered kind of feelings. He said he is jealous. More like over-possessive.

I'm beginning to see this whole relationship in a different light.

Monday, April 02, 2007

A Wonderful Day

Yes 1st of April was a great day not because it was April Fool's was Prophet Muhammad's birthday. Giraffe went to mosque. Little terror had his G.I. Joe cut. I am highly-drugged with medication for more sleep and rest. Getting better but having the irritating cough which the "DUH" doctor did not prescribed.

There would always be problems in just how you handle them and tackles them.

On Thursday night went to doctor. He check my BP...he said it is moderate but going towards the higher side. He said I should cut down on my salt. Immediately my left eyebrow rise. Me and salt? Salt? Cut down on salt?

I told Rina on Monday...she said me and salt?

See, I eat my food bland or almost like hospital food what I normally called. Even my mum + eldest sis thinks that I don't have any taste buds.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Sick Rants

I met giraffe on Tuesday evening (obviously after work) he was sneezing all the way home. I went home and I sneeze once (OMG)

Wednesday morning - Woke up with a sore throat and slight headache. On my way to office, I bought Strepsils for sore throat.

Afternoon: temp raising and by 5:30pm I ate 2 panadols to get rid of the headache.

Evening : Went to AMK and bought 2 cheap charts. 1 nose blocked.

Night : Eat dinner and ate 2 panadols, No fan facing me.

Thursday Morning: Woke up all sweaty but still not feeling well but much better than yesterday. Headache is reduced, nose is no longer blocked but runny now. Still having the sore throat. Green mucus and phlegm. I've lost my taste buds. Before leaving the house, ate some rice...taste like gooey mash stuff.

Before reaching the Office : Had an ice-cream...does not taste anything except gooey, slimy stuff in my mouth.

I would like to thank Giraffe for inflicting me with his germs. I am so sick now.

Work HATE Posts

The private company wants all the staffs to sign the security pledge in order to put US in hot soup in case someone decided to sue the company. Sorry dear....that stupid paper would not be signed by me. I don't kill myself because of the company.

Let me check what have they given salary coz I worked my ass off besides that nothing.

I don't accept bribes, I don't go for drinks, I don't ass-licked my boss, I don't buy liquor for my boss unlike downstairs depts. They have virus on the network due to the downloaded pornography...LOSER. And my last day working here would be in July.

My ex-Dboss called me last night...the only Korean boss that understands me. The new one which is not really new...boss of my ex-Dboss still thinks that I'm an idiot. For everything, he needs to console with another dimwit.

Suprisingly that dimwit turns out to be cunning. He tampers with the data submitted to the road garmen dept (not my freaking problem) the wall can collapse for all I care. And the other loser surveyor did not tamper with his readings...he just create his own set of readings without doing the actual survey and for that...if the whole stretch of expressway collapse...not my freaking problem either.

Just because the project is coming to an end...everyone work to suit their needs. What are the chances that I would be working with this group of people in the next project??

See, I can always turns a blind eye and forget about all the hanky-panky going on in the office but what if the house/wall collapse. Well people can die for all I care besides 4.6 million of people on an tiny island is actually over-crowding. But I don't want to go to jail just because they tamper with actually reading data.

Let's Do A Series of Truth Posts - This is a HATE rants

Frankly...I HATE is the stupidest game on earth besides squash and golf but MEN being small-brained or shall I say pea-brained loves cricket. Why cricket and not football?? Coz you don't tire yourself out too much by running between to stumps. Oh yes...I learn about cricket and all the stupid stuff.

Even swinging the ball you have so many names to call for it...stupid. In gist, defender blocked the ball from hitting your 2 stupid sticks behind you. Blocked it by hitting it away with a bat. basically that's it about the whole hoohah. And cant be bother about which idiot who actually invented about one game can last up to 5days....stooopppppiiidddd.

And during the Cricket World team is allowed to bat till 50 overs meaning 1 over is 6 bats. 6 bats = hit the ball 6 times. 1 over = means in one seat of hitting the ball. Total is 300 bats and depends on your runs Runs meaning if you hit the ball and no one catch it...and it rolls to the alloacted boundary...that is 4 runs. But if you hit the ball and it goes out of boundary without touching the ground that is 6 runs.

I am busy minding my own business reading about cross-stitch and other practical news....along came my freaking f**k colleague disturbing me and telling me all about what do I have to do is to get to know about it. And now he thinks I know too much. Almost 90% men from India are MCP.

India lost.....and I am frigging happy about it. The MCPs are out of the World Cup coz they think they are so damn good. And imagine playing another team that is full of beer-bellies so they hit about 400 runs...a big deal?? That is called redeeming their shame against drunkard team. Eh what's the glory in that?? I'm sorry to say that because of their cockiness, they lose to school children Bangladesh team of 17s...their own countrymen thinks that they are good as well... News flash people...LOSERS!!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Stage of Numb

I'm still in my stage of numb....trying to recover from the news that I've just received last Thursday. The donkey is living with someone and now having a 2-3 months old baby.

I couldn't cry as I think it is a waste of my tears. I confront him with it on Friday evening (via the phone) and the interesting part is that he did not deny it but just said that he was not there during that time.

I thought about it till I get migraine on Saturday. I am giving myself unnecessary stress.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Is it really true?

I went out with Giraffe last night...we had our talked about us. He asked me where I want to be with him. I said to give me time to think about it.

Giraffe was busy scrolling down his mobile number and I came upon alot of person names that says Donkey. He knew what is/was going on with me and Donkey. He showed me the number one by one and asked do I know any of them. Should I say shocked....I did not give out Donkey's number to is it possible he has them??

Giraffe described Donkey to me in detail...the best part of all..Donkey has a son now with a chinese lady. The son is around 2-3 months. I am shocked yet relieved. Say what...your husband is having an affair with some girl outside...probably living with her and to the extend of having a child too...and you are relieved??

See that is so weird.

Well I'm not. I am happy. I don't have bad thoughts. I don't hate someone for deceiving me. i really can't hate. I only wished that his mum would have strangled him when he was a that is so funny.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Call it quits 2nd time

It's been 3 days since I last called Giraffe. Yeah I did the stupidest thing and reply his call (2 days after 9th Feb). Well at least I am well-prepared this time. I think I am ok without Giraffe around to disrupt my thinking and myself.

2nd time, I felt odd and awkward going out with him as my curious alert is set to red alert. So nothing he says seeped into me. Enter the right ear, exit the left ear.

3 Days of Hell

I am alive but not without major brain damage. Sg should never have long holidays/breaks more than 1 day. I am contented with my weekly Sunday breaks...the longest time that I have to spend with my mum.

The old bat went on lecturing spree on Sunday evening, pause on Monday evening continue on Tuesday morning. I was contemplating pushing her off from the kitchen windows but thinking seriously how to remove the obvious evidence. I've been watching far too many CSIs. I need a break. A real break away from my mother.

I did however manage to squeeze in some time to stitch a SanMan Design. Thought of cheating on my Wednesday SAL as today is WEDNESDAY and I have tonnes and tonnes of work piled up from Saturday. I am so lucky!

Bye people.....trying not to kill mum tonight.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Dump The Giraffe

I call it quits last Wednesday night around 11:30pm on the giraffe. Can't call him as my voice would betray me...instead I sms. Saying that he should refrain himself from calling me.

It is hard but I had to let it go as the donkey's have his people everywhere. 2 days before the big dump, he called to enquire and I got scared. Giraffe says that I am not wise in allowing him taking advantage of me but I don't have a choice.

Besides Giraffe acted really weirdly and angry when I asked to see his identification. Can't blame me for asking. does feels weird not to have someone to call and be called. :-(

So in order to stop all the thinking, I'm making myself more busy than usual.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Giddy Feeling

We talked for more than 1hr.....I'm feeling giddy with laughter and funny words that he likes to used. Honestly, I've never laughed so much and my heart really feels happy. Am I crazy? Too crazy in fact.

All I know is that I am happy. For now. Really happy.

Crazy about Giraffe :-)

Monday, January 29, 2007

Spring in your feet

This morning, I woke up with big smile on my face. Such lovely dreams that slipped away the moment I wakes up and trying to recall them. But no matter what, it was the most sweetest dreams as I slept soundly and waking up happy in my heart.

My feet were light and could almost feel the spring in all the steps to work. Smiling and feeling happy. I try not to think the important issues yet. Main thing is to wake up feeling happy on a Monday morning.

Tell you more about the new giraffe that feels warms and loving when being touch. The safest hugs and the lightest kiss on my cheeks. 270107

Thursday, January 18, 2007

When a heart breaks?

It hurts, you wish you can cry out but you can't as the pain would not go away. It would not erase the fact that it is broken and could not be mended the same way. It does not feel like Ally McBeal having her heart shot by arrows. It feels as though it is being torn apart. Squeezed and suffocated. You can't breathe and everything is not the same. Nothing is the same. Nothing feels right. Everything that you do feels wrong and meaningless.

It does not help with listening to old songs and reminiscing the old memories. It does not help as everywhere you turn, it hurts. It does not help when you gave advise to people about letting it go if it is never meant to be yours. It hurts and for any quiet moments, your tears just flow down your cheeks. There is no off button. For any little thing, you can cry. When you try to mask with laughter, it hurts even more. And while you type how you feel, tears flow freely down your cheeks.

It does not help knowing that the front of your tee is wet with wiping your tears away since morning. You are like a walking zombie. You don't feel the things and people around you but yet you have to interact with it. You can't let go of yourself. You can't ignore the fact that life still goes on. You can't ignore the fact that someone else is waiting for you.

Imagine losing the same person for the 2nd time. Maybe, it is for the best. Maybe, it was never meant to be. Maybe, that is how the story of my life goes. To feel pain and to be alive. To stay alive. To survive. To acknowledge that I am a coward. I only follow what my parents wanted me to do. I only listen. I don't have a rebel cells in me. I accept in quiet and watch my life fade away before my eyes.

Rebel cells lives in mini love that beats up the people who chain me to the chair. They don't allowed me to feel. To experience. To break. To live for myself. To live with someone I truly love. To be with someone that I can care. To feel the warm of another person.

The tap flows non-stop. I need to replace the faucet soon. It need to be like before. Cold! Totally devoid of feelings! Just a puppet.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Stress Stress Stress

About work, about house, about school, about loans, about getting new job, about leaving work, about weight, about food.....just about everything in the whole wide world.

My brain and my hand refuse to co-operate and work together. My heart says another thing but the mind due to the new practical software that I've just installed in me...refuse to coordinate. The whole body is in turmoil.

I am going to stop surfing net and start posting all my craziness. I need to let everything out before I explode.

Alam (the ugly looking B worker who bleached his cheeks) And I thought MJ is crazy to bleached himself. The reason why he bleached as he says that the cheeks is dark-coloured. For an Asian with darker skin tone...he says it is ugly....he just proofs the white commercials to be RIGHT!!...Loser!! So anyway, the clown face told me that my DBoss is leaving is Korea (partially true) and Mr Maeng is going to replaced him (WHAT THE BEEP BEEP!!) That sicko crazy wacko is going to replace my 'cute' Dboss. I can accept that? I refuse to accept that.

He is not a nice person. Shrewd, cunning and manipulative. So I am seriously waiting for my BONUS and see how it after Dboss and plus to get my son citizenship...then off I go. This time, I am going to work in more permanent "GARMEN" sector.

Too stress out....need to buy beds to furnish the house or else where do I place my new mattress....Arrrgghhh. Beds aside....I don't have a driver that works at my beck and kidding!

I am juggling in life. Do I want to proceed with Donkey or Tiger? No idea and been weighing on my mind.

And I am struggling with tatting....I wonder who invented or pioneered it...for the thread MUST flip. I am so close to throwing the shuttles down the refuse chute.

Time to go and start working again. I hate to update those Settlement GDB STOOPID.....

Friday, January 12, 2007

Happen today at MacPherson - lunch time

I was walking towards the bus stop with Bubbly-Girl during lunch going to post office and Bubbly-Girl is off to chocolate land. At the bus stop there is one M lady wearing the traditional clothes and semi-covering her head using the traditional head-dress.

She approaches me and asked if I'm M or I. I said that I am an I (well technically speaking, I am an I as dad is pure North I and mum is a mixture of M and I'm an I) She said that she had gone to the mosque and was asking for help. She said that her mum had passed away. (Going thru my her mum died and why did she go to mosque? The place where she is staying have their own people who takes care of the dead....back to reality) She had asked for $10 to see her mum (in my mind = how can you bury the dead with just $10?) I said they have their reason...must be the office policy. (what else do I say??)

She said that the people there is not friendly and don't want to help her. (here I'm thanking myself that I did not say I'm M) She said that if she asked from people (at this moment a huge cement mixer dash across us follow by a bus....the noise is so deafening that I can hear what she was saying) Lucky enough her bus is here and she board it.

Interesting your mum died (she looks 50yrs old) must be very old mum that passes away. She looked very calm standing at the bus stop before she approaches me. She does not look sad, or crying or really traumatise by the news. She said the people in the mosque refuse to help her with $10 to see her mum. I am sorry but I don't buy into that kind of story anymore.

I have had many people approaching me asking for money with different kind of stories that you stopped believing into them.

Imagine one day at the library itself in Sembawang and very far away from the MRT or bus station, an old M man approached me at 8:30pm. Saying that, he had brought his 2 kids out (which by the way, the 2 kids were running around in the library) and had no money to go home. I turned him down nicely as I did not carry any cash on me then. Then he can asked me how do I travel then. I said using the farecard (stored value card). He just walked off.

2 days later, at the SAM machine outside of Woodlands MRT station, the very same guy approached me asking for money. I said that the 1st time, you asked me and I could believe you....2nd time is not true. Went on further to tell him that if I saw him again the 3rd time asking for money, I would call the police. He quickly walks away.

See in SG, there are no beggars and begging for money is not allowed. The government or other bodies is providing for the lesser people. If you have a problem, no work, no money to send children to school, no food...all is being provided if you just asked....and work. You don't go around asking money from people.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Really Stressed Out

I'm really stressed out today as my Dbo just told me a HUGE / FAT / CHUNK of secret that almost all of the people had guessed but not yet confirmed. So, Dbo said that our dept would ends in July 2007. Of course, that is BAD news for me as I've just bought a house, my son is starting school and I need the money to maintain the household.

Should I start looking for a job now? But I can't leave my work here unfinished, as no matter how much I hated working with some of the staffs & snobbish workers here, I still have work responsibilities. Let me see how things go....and if it gets from worse to terribly worse....I guess I have to start looking for a new job soon.

Can't blog now as still too stressed out over house matters tomorrow. :-( Not a happy person this week.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Move on Really Fast

I was going thru my list of bloggers...down my x-stitching site and decided to pay a visit on a fellow. It struck me badly...I'm actually wondering what makes him take such a quick decision. His dear, bubbly wife passed away from unknown reason (not disclosed) in Feb 2006 and now he is getting hitched with another lady...wearing the ring in Dec 2006!!

Either I've been watching too many American murder movies/flicks/dramas, CSIs, Matlock, Murder She Wrote...etc or I think it is just plain rude. How can a person moves on so fast. Doesn't the memory of the wife means anything to him at all?

I've been reading the blog, seems as though, he never got married and was a bachelor all along. Maybe he thinks that it is better to get hitched again since the other girl is waiting for so long.

I have to really stopped reading all these murder mystery books. Can I say that he kills the wife?? Reality is so sad at times. It really bugs me....Can I say that I should be happy that he has found someone else to fill in the empty void eversince the wife left him? I can't lie to my heart about that.