Saturday, April 21, 2007

Flipping Cat-tired

The post should have read dog-tired....since I'm not crazy about dog...wrote cat instead. Never seen a tired cat...more like laid-back, cool cat. Not a cares in their world....sashay here and there. Ah cat...and ANTM is so similar.

Don't know why but I have been really tired these past few days. I need a massage on my shoulder and my fingers from all the typing at work. My poor over-abused tired fingers. So much so that I've begin typing with my middle fingers instead. Yes I am a point fingers (the one after the thumb) people.

I need my bed...I need my sleep...I'm cracking my head to do simple cross-stitch designs. Why? Because I feel like doing something with my head, hand and do something! Period.

Heart Did a Jump

I could have sworn that my heart nearly jump out of my chest. G called me today. just few mins ago.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Listen to Class95FM - 150407

I listen to them (GO and FD) whenever I feel like listening but in actual fact, I enjoyed listening to the Eurasian fart dishing out his wackiness each morning with GO. Those 2 guys are beyond wack. I still prefer Joe Augustine though.

Today they were talking about tearing down the National Stadium in June to make way for a new one. What are your fondest memories?

Fondest memories....forced to voluntary signed for the flash card contigent when I was in Balestier ITE. It was fun/hot/stupid/interesting/funny/glowing experience.

Fun : We get to do something enjoyable besides attending class.

Hot : Well you know what is the weather like in Singapore. Hot wooden bench to rest my tired bum.

Stupid : Follow the lights and flip the huge card. Even that simple instructions...alot of students can't followed it.

Interesting : They served us with Filet O' Fish (Mc Donald) every time we had rehearsal. We get 1 or 2 bottles of mineral water. 1 apple. 1 round bread sliced half and stuffed with fish fillet (basically that wit no tartar sauce or anything)...wrapped with Mc Donald blue wrapper. So I know who is sponsoring the food. I Never get tired eating that same old stuff. It's delicious...why because it is fish. I LOVE fish.

Diverted : I eat fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Would never grow tired of eating them every single day. Favourite fish dishes...well can't decide as there is alot of them. Indian Mackeral in Spicy & Sweet Chilli Sauce (Sambal Ikan kembong). Indian Mackeral in Soy sauce (Ikan Kembong Kicap). Fish with alot of bones (dont know the name) that is stuffed with spicy coconut and grilled (Ikan Terubok dgn Sambal Kelapa Bakar). Stingray cooked in spicy and sour sauce (Asam Pedas Ikan Pari). Anchovies fried with black sauce and dried chillies (Ikan Bilis Kicap Pedas)

Enough about Sedap.

Memorable experiences, knowing my 2 sisters (1st & 2nd) performs for the National Day. All 3 sisters have performed, except the youngest of course. I went twice to watch the parade as a spectator. Enjoyed everything Singapore.

Went once to the stadium just to watch fireworks eventhough we dont have tickets to enter. But being there and soking the atmosphere was priceless.

Can I Kicked Myself on my A**

Patience finally cracks on me last night. G came to office and it dawns upon me that I like him but he is not a husband nor a father material. He is not responsible enough. He is not caring enough. He is not alot of things.

The part when you loved someone, you must accepts his shortcomings or handicaps just does not apply to me.

I hated the way he eat his food. The way he wasted his food. The way he ordered me around. The way he tries to tame me. Sorry dear, I ain't buying into being a servant wifey thingy character.

He is too loud. He is too open. He talks without concern if people could listens to his crazy words. He is childish in listening to loud music on train.

I'm listing all the points here. Well I am trying to lists down the points that irritates me alot. He uses vulgar words. Like F**K U in Hokkien. Darn, I am not going out with a Secret Society. The most I would do is flash a person if I'm annoyed but not FO like in every other sentence.

Back to work now.

Finally Happens

I called Donkey last night at 11pm saying that we are going to sit down on of these days and talked about his future. His reply....that would be nice. Uh? Nice?

Well that got me off-balance for awhile. Anyway, whatever it is...going to finally discussed the whole crap about not staying married to him. And to get him to signed the divorce letters as soon as possible.

Now to look for the auspicious day.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Increase the Ministers Pay

I dare not comment on such big issue. But all I can say is why bother announcing. When THEY decided to increase much talked about it and debate about it...eventually it sticks.

And increase pays...much talked about it and debate over it. And they are going ahead with it...DUH.

Seriously, I don't think that there is a need to even discuss with the public on what THEY planned to do or going to do. We are a Nation where we follow (with questions, debate & discussion = accept whatever) what THEY said or meted out to us. And the whole point of having a discussion? Not practical.

In other words, if you are not happy with the way or things that are done here...please move to another country. Bottom line.

All who have decided to wear the corpse uniform, should typed/print out and signed the below declaration.

I,..................................., Identification No/Passport Holder..............who pratically don't like how certain things are run or done here and after serious weighing on my options plus considering my future. I have learnt to accept what is being thrown to me. I may argue and gives my feedback in an orderly manner but I would accept without further questions once the decision have been finalised.

I should treasured my indirectly-caged up freedom; knowing the fact that if I go to other countries, I maybe discriminate for my skin tone or religion. And always keep in mind that I should never ever hope for any support without paying it in advance first.


It is Too Late

I called G on sunday morning. Adam spoke to him. "Sudah makan", "makan apa" and then he starts his version of English...all gibberish but sounded like English words.

I dont remember the whole conversation but it went something like, it's too late. Too late for what? He is going to make the donkey signed the divorce papers. Are you serious about marrying me? Yes I am. But I'm not in a hurry to get married. Neither do I. Maybe when I am 43years old, in 10 years time. But I won't be 43years old in 10years time. I'm only 31 can 31 plus 10 be 43? More like 41yrs old. So you can wait for 10yrs?

We started laughing. Nice feeling but scary at the same time.

Why I termed it nice? Nice as in there is a guy who is crazy enough and wants to marry me.

Scary? What if he turns out to be like another Donkey? I can't take any chances on my life again. If only they come with flashing screen on their forward. Flashing FALSE & TRUE? It is so much easier to make choices that way. Now is like flipping a coin. Hoping for head and you get the tail.

Let's not scare myself anymore. One steps at a time.

I'm at a stage whereby I hate the Donkey to the core. And wishes to see something bad happened to him for his evil deeds to me. But I can't wished for that as that is going to be bad karma for me. I'm sure what happens was for a purpose. Painful yet a learning experience. I would not be able to find in my heart to forgive him. I only hope that All Mighty would forgive him.

And at a stage of unsure about my feelings for G. Nice guy but not sure how true it is. No one is goody good. At least he helps me alot. I realised that last week that I did not missed nor talked to my imaginary friend. Seems like IF is slowly going away. I don't find the need to talked to my IF any longer. Thank you for that.

At Day without Mum - Part 2

Adam wakes up at 9:30am. I've feed him at 5:49am. 2nd feed was at 2pm. 3rd feed at 7pm. In between 10am to 2pm he had rice with chicken kurma (more like 7 tablespoons of it). Between 2pm and 7pm, he had home-made coleslaw and fried noodles (6 tablespoons). He eat by himself. We only allowed spoons, no forks.

At 3pm, I decided to do the laundry, wash all the windows and Adam sweeps all the rooms. As it was raining plus thunder & lightning, I end up sweeping the whole house by myself. He just went on to rest on the bed. Too tired &

As I slide my kitchen windows and looked out. I know that I can be happy staying at home, just with Adam. It was peaceful. I don't hear any nagging, complains nor stupid stories about my neighbours or her friend's sister's daughter stories.

Now I just need to find someone to finance me by staying at home, taking care of the kids and cross-stitch whole day. Plus travelling, shopping, stashing, indulgence....yeah right!

Adam sticks to me the whole day. Giving me kisses on my cheeks and hugging me. It is nice to feel wanted by your son. The only reason I can think of, why he is doing all this...his grandmother is not at home. He stuck with If grandmother at home....he couldn't give a hoot about his mum. I have to tricked him in order to hug him at times....little terror

At Day without Mum

Mum entered JB, My last Sat evening with eldest sis. Stayed the night at youngest sis house. Youngest sis is down. As in cant eat, cant drink, her round face have become long (details according to mum) and her swollen tummy (fat) had shrunk. (isn't that good??) She had lost alot of water and whatsoever as she have been vomitting eversince she found out that she is pregnant.

Mum had a stopover as her destination was to meet a man for youngest sis. To cure her not by scientific method. Malay's called it Bomoh but English calle dit witch doctor. Anyway the guy wasn't a witch or wizard. He just treat people using the Holy words. Faith in All Mighty.

Adam slept with me. He slept on the bed while I sleep on the mattress beside the bed, on the floor. It is comfortable sleeping on the floor than with him. I used to wake up every hour just to check on him (sleeping with him on the bed). If I had pressed on him. Each time he turns, I would wake up. Damn stressful.

I woke up around 5:49am and watched the telly. I watched my Japan Hour, 7th Heaven (last episode I supposed as all girls are having twins).

Ladies break....brb