Monday, April 16, 2007

It is Too Late

I called G on sunday morning. Adam spoke to him. "Sudah makan", "makan apa" and then he starts his version of English...all gibberish but sounded like English words.

I dont remember the whole conversation but it went something like, it's too late. Too late for what? He is going to make the donkey signed the divorce papers. Are you serious about marrying me? Yes I am. But I'm not in a hurry to get married. Neither do I. Maybe when I am 43years old, in 10 years time. But I won't be 43years old in 10years time. I'm only 31 can 31 plus 10 be 43? More like 41yrs old. So you can wait for 10yrs?

We started laughing. Nice feeling but scary at the same time.

Why I termed it nice? Nice as in there is a guy who is crazy enough and wants to marry me.

Scary? What if he turns out to be like another Donkey? I can't take any chances on my life again. If only they come with flashing screen on their forward. Flashing FALSE & TRUE? It is so much easier to make choices that way. Now is like flipping a coin. Hoping for head and you get the tail.

Let's not scare myself anymore. One steps at a time.

I'm at a stage whereby I hate the Donkey to the core. And wishes to see something bad happened to him for his evil deeds to me. But I can't wished for that as that is going to be bad karma for me. I'm sure what happens was for a purpose. Painful yet a learning experience. I would not be able to find in my heart to forgive him. I only hope that All Mighty would forgive him.

And at a stage of unsure about my feelings for G. Nice guy but not sure how true it is. No one is goody good. At least he helps me alot. I realised that last week that I did not missed nor talked to my imaginary friend. Seems like IF is slowly going away. I don't find the need to talked to my IF any longer. Thank you for that.

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