Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Donkey Hatred Post

I have always wished well for people no matter how bad I feel after being treated badly. I guess this time, it crosses all my stages of patience. I wished that the donkey would die a painful, long, ever-lasting, agonising, mind-tormenting, one by one fingernails extraction by pliers (have to thank the Japanese to come up with the torturing method while invading Singapore)..back to torture mode...tongue clamping and torched with hot iron that have been heated up to terrible degrees over fiery red hot coals.

Seriously MIL you have given birth to an evil person who cheats on other people feelings...toy them around as though they are like some piece of bad-tasting meat on the plate. Couldn't it be possible that you should have feed poison to your darling, spoilt, uncivilized, non-human compassionate skills. Or drop him in the mouth of hungry crocodile since you are incapable of murturing a small and innocent babies to have human skills & feelings. To know how to treat a person with respect and honour.

I think all the marriage vow about to cherish, honour in sickness..etc..etc till death do us apart is all a big joke to him. I could see myself holding a scalpel and slitting his throat while he was asleep. Watching the sudden gush of blood flowing down his throat. His eyes open in shocked and gasped at me. He tries to clamped shut the gap...trying to block the flowing of the crimson blood out of his throat. In his eyes were one question "WHY" Why he asked with his shocked eyes. As his eyes began to fade his colours...I watched without blinking my eyes...basking in his death.

As I slowly lay his hands by bothsides, I slit his wrists. Deep and almost dangling off his hand. Just to make sure.Making sure he does not breath again. Making sure he would not wakes up again to hurt me. Making sure that there would not be a 2nd donkey like him...who preys on people feelings, emotions. All donkeys shall die like him.

Life would be beautiful if he listens to me and not go against practical people like me. Instead he chooses to live in his quick and easy scheme to get rich. Not only pulling me down with him but landed me in alot of problems. I should have been brave enough to walk away from him. Be strong enough to live alone. Be contented enough with a simple life. Isn't that is what I had wanted when I was 9years old.

There's alot of things that forces me to grow up. Alot of things that I believe I deserve something better. Alot of things when I feel terrible in my heart. I could cry out loud but it's the pain in the heart that I couldn't cry out. I couldn't write down in words what I was going thru. What I was feeling. How I wish a hand was there to help me then. How I wish....how I wish.

I guess it's all too late now as I'm too twisted to be straighten. Even if it get untwist...the kinks would be a constant reminder of my failure.

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