Flipping Cat-tired

The post should have read dog-tired....since I'm not crazy about dog...wrote cat instead. Never seen a tired cat...more like laid-back, cool cat. Not a cares in their world....sashay here and there. Ah cat...and ANTM is so similar.

Don't know why but I have been really tired these past few days. I need a massage on my shoulder and my fingers from all the typing at work. My poor over-abused tired fingers. So much so that I've begin typing with my middle fingers instead. Yes I am a point fingers (the one after the thumb) people.

I need my bed...I need my sleep...I'm cracking my head to do simple cross-stitch designs. Why? Because I feel like doing something with my head, hand and do something! Period.

Heart Did a Jump

I could have sworn that my heart nearly jump out of my chest. G called me today. just few mins ago.

Listen to Class95FM - 150407

I listen to them (GO and FD) whenever I feel like listening but in actual fact, I enjoyed listening to the Eurasian fart dishing out his wackiness each morning with GO. Those 2 guys are beyond wack. I still prefer Joe Augustine though.

Today they were talking about tearing down the National Stadium in June to make way for a new one. What are your fondest memories?

Fondest memories....forced to voluntary signed for the flash card contigent when I was in Balestier ITE. It was fun/hot/stupid/interesting/funny/glowing experience.

Fun : We get to do something enjoyable besides attending class.

Hot : Well you know what is the weather like in Singapore. Hot wooden bench to rest my tired bum.

Stupid : Follow the lights and flip the huge card. Even that simple instructions...alot of students can't followed it.

Interesting : They served us with Filet O' Fish (Mc Donald) every time we had rehearsal. We get 1 or 2 bottles of mineral water. 1 apple. 1 round bread sliced half and stuffed with fish fillet (basically that wit no tartar sauce or anything)...wrapped with Mc Donald blue wrapper. So I know who is sponsoring the food. I Never get tired eating that same old stuff. It's delicious...why because it is fish. I LOVE fish.

Diverted : I eat fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Would never grow tired of eating them every single day. Favourite fish dishes...well can't decide as there is alot of them. Indian Mackeral in Spicy & Sweet Chilli Sauce (Sambal Ikan kembong). Indian Mackeral in Soy sauce (Ikan Kembong Kicap). Fish with alot of bones (dont know the name) that is stuffed with spicy coconut and grilled (Ikan Terubok dgn Sambal Kelapa Bakar). Stingray cooked in spicy and sour sauce (Asam Pedas Ikan Pari). Anchovies fried with black sauce and dried chillies (Ikan Bilis Kicap Pedas)

Enough about fishes....so Sedap.

Memorable experiences, knowing my 2 sisters (1st & 2nd) performs for the National Day. All 3 sisters have performed, except the youngest of course. I went twice to watch the parade as a spectator. Enjoyed everything Singapore.

Went once to the stadium just to watch fireworks eventhough we dont have tickets to enter. But being there and soking the atmosphere was priceless.

Can I Kicked Myself on my A**

Patience finally cracks on me last night. G came to office and it dawns upon me that I like him but he is not a husband nor a father material. He is not responsible enough. He is not caring enough. He is not alot of things.

The part when you loved someone, you must accepts his shortcomings or handicaps just does not apply to me.

I hated the way he eat his food. The way he wasted his food. The way he ordered me around. The way he tries to tame me. Sorry dear, I ain't buying into being a servant wifey thingy character.

He is too loud. He is too open. He talks without concern if people could listens to his crazy words. He is childish in listening to loud music on train.

I'm listing all the points here. Well I am trying to lists down the points that irritates me alot. He uses vulgar words. Like F**K U in Hokkien. Darn, I am not going out with a Secret Society. The most I would do is flash a person if I'm annoyed but not FO like in every other sentence.

Back to work now.

Finally Happens

I called Donkey last night at 11pm saying that we are going to sit down on of these days and talked about his future. His reply....that would be nice. Uh? Nice?

Well that got me off-balance for awhile. Anyway, whatever it is...going to finally discussed the whole crap about not staying married to him. And to get him to signed the divorce letters as soon as possible.

Now to look for the auspicious day.

Increase the Ministers Pay

I dare not comment on such big issue. But all I can say is why bother announcing. When THEY decided to increase GST...so much talked about it and debate about it...eventually it sticks.

And increase pays...much talked about it and debate over it. And they are going ahead with it...DUH.

Seriously, I don't think that there is a need to even discuss with the public on what THEY planned to do or going to do. We are a Nation where we follow (with questions, debate & discussion = accept whatever) what THEY said or meted out to us. And the whole point of having a discussion? Not practical.

In other words, if you are not happy with the way or things that are done here...please move to another country. Bottom line.

All who have decided to wear the corpse uniform, should typed/print out and signed the below declaration.

I,..................................., Identification No/Passport Holder..............who pratically don't like how certain things are run or done here and after serious weighing on my options plus considering my future. I have learnt to accept what is being thrown to me. I may argue and gives my feedback in an orderly manner but I would accept without further questions once the decision have been finalised.

I should treasured my indirectly-caged up freedom; knowing the fact that if I go to other countries, I maybe discriminate for my skin tone or religion. And always keep in mind that I should never ever hope for any support without paying it in advance first.

Signed.

It is Too Late

I called G on sunday morning. Adam spoke to him. "Sudah makan", "makan apa" and then he starts his version of English...all gibberish but sounded like English words.

I dont remember the whole conversation but it went something like, it's too late. Too late for what? He is going to make the donkey signed the divorce papers. Are you serious about marrying me? Yes I am. But I'm not in a hurry to get married. Neither do I. Maybe when I am 43years old, in 10 years time. But I won't be 43years old in 10years time. I'm only 31 now...how can 31 plus 10 be 43? More like 41yrs old. So you can wait for 10yrs?

We started laughing. Nice feeling but scary at the same time.

Why I termed it nice? Nice as in there is a guy who is crazy enough and wants to marry me.

Scary? What if he turns out to be like another Donkey? I can't take any chances on my life again. If only they come with flashing screen on their forward. Flashing FALSE & TRUE? It is so much easier to make choices that way. Now is like flipping a coin. Hoping for head and you get the tail.

Let's not scare myself anymore. One steps at a time.

I'm at a stage whereby I hate the Donkey to the core. And wishes to see something bad happened to him for his evil deeds to me. But I can't wished for that as that is going to be bad karma for me. I'm sure what happens was for a purpose. Painful yet a learning experience. I would not be able to find in my heart to forgive him. I only hope that All Mighty would forgive him.

And at a stage of unsure about my feelings for G. Nice guy but not sure how true it is. No one is goody good. At least he helps me alot. I realised that last week that I did not missed nor talked to my imaginary friend. Seems like IF is slowly going away. I don't find the need to talked to my IF any longer. Thank you for that.

At Day without Mum - Part 2

Adam wakes up at 9:30am. I've feed him at 5:49am. 2nd feed was at 2pm. 3rd feed at 7pm. In between 10am to 2pm he had rice with chicken kurma (more like 7 tablespoons of it). Between 2pm and 7pm, he had home-made coleslaw and fried noodles (6 tablespoons). He eat by himself. We only allowed spoons, no forks.

At 3pm, I decided to do the laundry, wash all the windows and Adam sweeps all the rooms. As it was raining plus thunder & lightning, I end up sweeping the whole house by myself. He just went on to rest on the bed. Too tired & sleepy...lol.

As I slide my kitchen windows and looked out. I know that I can be happy staying at home, just with Adam. It was peaceful. I don't hear any nagging, complains nor stupid stories about my neighbours or her friend's sister's daughter stories.

Now I just need to find someone to finance me by staying at home, taking care of the kids and cross-stitch whole day. Plus travelling, shopping, stashing, indulgence....yeah right!

Adam sticks to me the whole day. Giving me kisses on my cheeks and hugging me. It is nice to feel wanted by your son. The only reason I can think of, why he is doing all this...his grandmother is not at home. He stuck with me...lol. If grandmother at home....he couldn't give a hoot about his mum. I have to tricked him in order to hug him at times....little terror

At Day without Mum

Mum entered JB, My last Sat evening with eldest sis. Stayed the night at youngest sis house. Youngest sis is down. As in cant eat, cant drink, her round face have become long (details according to mum) and her swollen tummy (fat) had shrunk. (isn't that good??) She had lost alot of water and whatsoever as she have been vomitting eversince she found out that she is pregnant.

Mum had a stopover as her destination was to meet a man for youngest sis. To cure her not by scientific method. Malay's called it Bomoh but English calle dit witch doctor. Anyway the guy wasn't a witch or wizard. He just treat people using the Holy words. Faith in All Mighty.

Adam slept with me. He slept on the bed while I sleep on the mattress beside the bed, on the floor. It is comfortable sleeping on the floor than with him. I used to wake up every hour just to check on him (sleeping with him on the bed). If I had pressed on him. Each time he turns, I would wake up. Damn stressful.

I woke up around 5:49am and watched the telly. I watched my Japan Hour, 7th Heaven (last episode I supposed as all girls are having twins).

Ladies break....brb

Can never teach a "Dimwit" new tricks.

Let's start with yesterday, 5 mins to 6pm.

Eversince DW wife's gave birth, he has been going home 1hr earlier each day. To me, it's none of my business even if he doesn't come to work...lol

So 5 mins before 6pm was his knocking off time from work. I seriously need to review my working hours again. I ends at 7pm while he gets pay much more than me and lesser hours in office. Darn!

He came in saying that Mr. Female Voice wants the data of the 2 inclinometers in 15 mins. Say what! 15 mins to get all the report from the year 2005 done. I ask DW, did you forget to mention that you don't do magic tricks. So, who ends up doing the work? ME! Of course, he is totally dependent on me that if given the opportunity he probably would not be able to shit before asking me to lift up the toilet seat for him.

How long did I take to do the work? 1hr. Because DW had to see what are the maximum readings first. And exporting out data from another software to another software is not that fast considering that it is a 3yrs worth of records. And DW keep hovering over me like a fly. Kept on asking if I'm done (when he should be doing the job in the first place) Just out of my normal common sense, why in the freaking Hell wouldn't Mr Female Voice approach me like 1hr earlier. Why does he have to wait for DW first in order to get the work done. The fact is DW doesn't do the work. He is practically DW to begin with no drop of common sense.

Seriously, I think Mr. FW (alias f**k well??...lol) has a problem. I wonder why they keep on thinking me (woman) is stupid, brainless and totally clueless (hey I'm not blonde okay!!) Doesn't he realise by now that I'm a CAD operator cum secretary cum controlling workers & surveyors work schedules cum remembering what goes on in this Dept eversince the 1st boss and followed by 2nd boss departures. Men are so STOOOPIIIDDDD.

So today,

DW finishes at 12noon but goes off at 10:30am. That is some serious working hours problem in my contract! But before that, he had to hurry me with other totally unnecessary work which could be done by him.

DW went on site to check the settlement markers at Alju Road. He finds it different from the drawing that I gave him. He told me to change the location according to his inspections of the points. I told him that I can't do that as the original points must have been covered by soil thus the surveyor had it re-installed elsewhere and they did not submit to me the relocated as-built coordinates. I try telling him that 3 times and it doesn't get register into his thick skull. I checked with the Excel file and confirmed that the points have been relocated as it has been changed to A rev.

So I gave in (what's the point of talking to wall), open my drawing file and re-name it. What, you think I'm stupid just because DW is a "blonde" Change the settlement markers as per His Majesty wishes. Changed the excel file, and created a new excel file of re-initialise readings. Print out for him. DW is very happy and grinning to ear to ear. He said he would used this to submit to LAT. By all means, do it. I don't want any part of it.

After he left my office. I called the surveyor and told him to as-built the relocated settlement markers. After that is done, I would add that points to my original file. Men are STOOOOOPPPIIIIIDDDD. I don't bend/conform just to suit their need to see things done for their own convenience. I go by the book. I don't follow blind orders.

Found the Female Donkey Driver

They said Friday 13th is unlucky day but I not for me. I got lucky. (read post 10th Apr 07) I found you stupid, brain-dead female homosapien. She is a hazard to people on the road and to herself. Her car plate number is:

SFZ1487P

You think you can nearly hit me with your damn car and escaped? Not a chance, I would haunt you down like a worm under the stone. Your freaking crazy BITCH!!!

Short Break

G was down with fever/sickness last Monday. I got flustered as I can't call him and its like he disappeared from the surface of the earth.

Anyway, met G last evening at TYP. Just normal chat of 15mins. Why when I'm with him I can't think straight. I can't focus. I'm so aware of my surroundings. I'm aware of people looking at us. Anything that he says just go in straight thru me and never get it register in my head. It's like a giddy floating feeling. It really annoys me. It bothers me.

If I can't level my head, I'm losing my head. Darn!

Woman Makes the worse Drivers in Singapore

This morning on my way to office...my usual 20mins of fast walk. Green light was on my side with the green man indicating that I can walk. Out of the side, a lady drives with her blue car trying to run me down. She pressed the horn twice!! What the f**k! I said and point at the traffic light. She quickly droves off. I should have take down her car number. She was turning into one of the minor road in Kallangway area (besides Solectron Bldg) I regretted not flashing my middle-finger to her. If she were to come out of the car and confront me, I would seriously kicked her with my safety shoes and make her stayed at home due to her shin being broken after a good kick from me.

2 - 4 weeks ago, an accident had occurred there. Between a car and a motorcycle. The very same area where I stood to cross the road.

Woman should never be allowed to drives on Singapore road. They are the most...correction. All the women that I've came across that drives is an IDIOT!! They are either freeking stupid, super brain-dead, too scared of other big cars or over-confident. Seriously they practically pissed me off. The best place for them to drives car is the bumper car at the fair.

I know one female bus driver that drives the bus 966 (morning). She drives slower than a snail and she jerks the damned bus like every 2 mins on the expressway.

Spick & Span

Talked to G over the phone last night at 9:30pm. He said that he prefers a room with just the bed, rug, table and wardrobe. WHAT!!!

So where do I put all my books, more books and yet more books. My fabrics, my cross-stitch kit, my beads, my ribbons, my everything?

He said in the store room....say what? Store room?...All those accumulated treasures in the store room? Is he mad? And I asked, what about my sewing machine? He said sewing machine can stays in the room. Phew! Safe! Well I did not mention that I intend to buy an overlock machine in the near future or embroidery machine...hehehe. One steps at the time.

He don't mind sleeping in a single bed either. Maybe easier to kick me out when sleeping....ouch! Let's not look into the future. I am letting the weird relationship runs its normal course. Besides I can plan now but things might not go according to my plans later. The bit about not going to my plans was like, I cannot see myself without my treasures. I can give him up but not my cross-stitching. Sorry dude.

He said that his mum went on holiday once and came home with all her things gone one day (he throws all of them out) She was angry for few days and then calmed down. Now much happier with more space in her room.

If he throws my things when I am gone on holiday, I would castrate him!!

So I am starting to look into the things which I really, really need. I have a long list of books that I am going to put up on my Ebay Store. A Japanese Doll. 3 Porcelain dolls and etc.

I'll be busy this Good Friday. Before I forget, need to get mask before I make myself sick again for the 3rd time in a row.

Holiday Tomorrow, Medical Leave Yesterday and Working Today

I was so sick yesterday that I dragged my aching body and tired ass out of the bed late. I was contemplating between work and the doctor at 9:30am in the morning. More medicines finally won me over. Along the way, I bought cake with a plastic sports car on top for Adam.

Went home. Eat extremely bland fried bee hoon. Confirm hospital food. Wash all my clothes. Sick and still washing your clothes? Yes...if I leave it to another day...I wont have anything to wear as I have my 6 days clothes for the past 1 year routine. It's just recently someone gaves me their new 5 polo t-shirts. So I have more t-shirts to skirts. I have green, yellow, chequered red, black, flowery skirts. Lack of one for the 6th day. Probably would make another 1 or 2 tonight.

Making skirts, my way would probably took me less than 3hrs as there are no zippers or elastic band. All measurements made to suit my bum frame.

Slept at 2pm and wakes up at 8:30pm. Went back to sleep again at 10pm. I've never been this tired before and I've not gone to Post Office to mail my exchange either.

Wrong Number

At 6:33pm today, I received a call from Donkey today. He said that he would called me once he finished from work today. I told him, don't you finished your work at 6? He said yes but still some work left to do. He repeat again that he would called me later after work.

It is really bothering me because I did not called him yesterday nor today. Not even an sms from me saying/telling/asking that I wanted to talked to him. Eh....so why did he called and sounded as though he is returning my call?

That is so weird and I think he has been caught red-handed. Maybe he meant to call someone else but ends up u nconsciously dialing my number. And not knowing it was me, he just called to say what he would do.

Not a Safe Zone

I like working here but I dont like how some of them runs the work. It is not safe. I am straight and cant bend the rules. Although I am ok if the wall failed, factory breaks down due to on-going construction plus due to the fact that they are sitting on loose soils and early construction was a soddy job. But I have a problem if I have to go to jail for following my superiors order as they are verbal instructions. Nothing in black and white.

I am a spectator as well as a sitting-duck. So with that I concluded that...in the beginning I was rather upset that Sam would not be having their own monitoring work...meaning I still be employed and can pay my house mortgage but after considering all that. I am glad that I would not continue working with them as I cannot land myself in hot soup just because my superiors told me to close my eyes.

Monitoring Consultant Team

The Lat guy was here this morning asking for more information and as usual claims that their pc is slow and buttering me up by saying that I am fast. Yeah right, L.

Anyway, what got me thinking was that he told me that from the new projects onwards....any monitoring would be done by the consultants and no longer by the contractor due to the Nicoll Highway collapse. That damn project collapses because no one paid attention to it. So as usual the 'big' people would put all the blame on the contractor doing it.

What crap, knowing how the systems run and your status in the project...you could not just turned a blind eye to your work and not even bother to find out about it?? You shouldnt allow the contractor to spoon-feed you...so get your bloody, enlarged mushroom ass down to site, walked around and observe...do spots checks, do unannounced inspection. Who is there to stop you since you are the 'big' shot. With all these random checks and your own initiative to find ut what really happen on site....how in the world do you think that project would collapse.

So enough of the pointing out the obvious reasons. Sam is tendering for the down town MRT line which involves monitoring works. With what the Lat told me, I should start looking for a job in May - June. As Sam would not be having their own monitoring dept with all the increase in costs incurred each time they had to send the required instruments for servicing, calibration, repairs. That means cut costs in paying the local to operate the dept, paying the SR for earth, building monitoring works.

Maybe one of the reason why they send DBo back as they know that with the completion of this project...they dont need his expertise in running another dept.

But what is the funny aspect of what the Lat told me was that...the Lat would engaged a separate consultant to monitor all the works...report to them and then they would send another copy of that report to the contractor. After going thru the info, the Lat would tell the consultant to take further readings to double-check, double-confirm. That is so funny. Even to process some simple thing....they take 3 weeks. What are the chances that the building do not collapse by then?

The reason is that they do not want the contractor to not give the first hand reading to them without being changed or further actions taken to rectify the mistakes. So the Lat is looking for easy money in a sense that when there is stop work order...project maybe be delayed by 1 month or 2 months and who would be paying to complete the project out of their own pocket...the contractor.

But I can't blame them entirely as there are people in Sam who tampers/modify/create with the data. The SR dont care about giving the actual results as long as the information suits what the Lat wants to see. The RS is a pig-headed and cant think/decide/enforce the rules considering that he is just on loan from the original company just to signs all documents and just for designation/title-wise sake.

I'm just a spectator.

Maintaining Relationship

I am doing maybe a daily journal of the things that goes on in my day each day...a recap. Or just a mind flow.

Monday came and I have like 4 or should I say 5 days of work that I need to clear but Dimwit keep appearing every 15 - 30mins asking if I have finished this, taken the reading for this and told me about the reduce in certain readings. And he does that all over again 2 or 3hrs later.

I like to work with my mind fully concentrating on what I'm supposed to do, have to do and not to be interrupted like every 2 secs. I was 1cm closed to calling him an idiot or locked my office door.

I put on my headphone and listen to the music over and over again. This time no one can complain as I am not disturbing or invading on their listening territory. And if they want to listen to any music...well tough luck as I'm not as obliging as before. I sick to my ass about being nice to people and then they walked all over me.

I cant never be like William...listening, keeping, analysing and very quiet. I am the ultimate chatter-box. I talked to my pc, I sing out loud, I talked to my imaginary person next to me. Very comforting knowing that IT never disagrees and what I say is right.

So G told me that he is going to airport to fetch his frens.

At midnight, frens not back as plane/flight got delayed in Dubai due to something which I cant hear clearly over the phone. I tried but things is really not working. I dont have hearing problem nor something wrong with my ears. It is when the other party couldnt pronounce the words clearly. Keep on gluing the whole sentence or perfect english words together.

At times, I feel ridiculous but I just kept quiet for fearing of offending the other person. So G asked if I had been to TYP. I paused, recalled back the whole events that leads me to TYP. And slowly I said yes. He asked if I was speaking/talking to some dude. I re-enact the whole events to him on what I had done and what I was doing. I told him that there is no way I was seen talking to anyone...man or woman. He said that he have spies watching my movements. Yeah right....I'm like trapped in some James Bond kind of movie or what??

I told him slowly yet clearly that the next time...he so-called spies caught me talking to any living soul....please take a picture of me and prove it. I simply dont understand at all....why the need for his other frens to be watching me. Observing me, reporting all my moves to him. This is like ridiculous. Feels as though it is a crime to even talk to the shop-keeper.

Being in a relationship doesnt mean that you control someone like sheep to be slaughtered kind of feelings. He said he is jealous. More like over-possessive.

I'm beginning to see this whole relationship in a different light.

A Wonderful Day

Yes 1st of April was a great day not because it was April Fool's Day...it was Prophet Muhammad's birthday. Giraffe went to mosque. Little terror had his G.I. Joe cut. I am highly-drugged with medication for more sleep and rest. Getting better but having the irritating cough which the "DUH" doctor did not prescribed.

There would always be problems in life....it just how you handle them and tackles them.

On Thursday night went to doctor. He check my BP...he said it is moderate but going towards the higher side. He said I should cut down on my salt. Immediately my left eyebrow rise. Me and salt? Salt? Cut down on salt?

I told Rina on Monday...she said me and salt?

See, I eat my food bland or almost like hospital food what I normally called. Even my mum + eldest sis thinks that I don't have any taste buds.