Saturday, July 22, 2006

APP-DRA-01

In a split second, everything would change before your eyesight. Someone whom you have held in high esteem and regards...loves with all your soul. With every breathe she took was only in his name...the world came crushing down.

In addition, of the entire place for it to happen was in a crowded place. Weary students, teenagers who have been partying the night away, those who had stayed and slogged the extra hours were all there. Grace was in shocked and soon moves into a defensive mode. Grace was wondering what had actually happen...how can Grace see the person that she was going to marry with another woman. Standing by the brown tiled parapet wall, I leaned against it and could hear the conversation. When the person walked away, Grace followed and asking...Who is that woman and why are you with her? The person simply replies, this is what I have been telling you and now you may ask her what the relationship is.

Grace held on to the person’s hand and asked why she went out with him, as he is her husband. The woman smiles, I could have sworn, I could hear her laughing silently when she said that. The woman asked...what prove does she have saying this is her husband...when she has the marriage certificate saying that she and the man is legally bonded in law as husband and wife. Grace let his hand slips thru. Her eyes grew even larger when she finally let the reality of the whole thing sinks in.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Year in Review

1981 In Review

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament
4. The Pope died

2005 In Review

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament
4. The Pope died

Note: In future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, will someone please warn the Pope. Thank You.

Art Gallery

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings."

"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.

"Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"

Timex N Rolex

Two New Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Hellooooo," answered the blonde, "They're watch dogs!"

How to EARN the Points?

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans
and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned __ _ex-pression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV(+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

Thursday Rants

Only 64%...Mildly stressed I must say but why do I feel as though I am too stressed out...maybe like 84% instead of what it's been shown. Anyway moving on to why I am feeling stressed out...answer is simple...MONEY.

I need money to pay for the house agent's fees. Example...if the house is...back track..not a house. I mean an apartment. In SG, you don't get a house (with garage, backyard, garden space and whatsoever)..you get a corridor which of course should be accessible for other folks to pass by. Having potted plants is not encourageable but tolerable. Plants/leaves/flowes should not obstruct flow of traffic. No bicycle should be parked outside your door as the chances are you would not see them tomorrow. New house you don't get the 2 steps before entering your hole. I am really going off line here. Example if a house cost S$220,000 (all currency use is SG Dollars), agent fee is 1% of it plus 5% GST (goods & service tax) out of that 1%. plus the hole report of your intended purchase...$178, processing fee + chooping the hole = roughly around S$3000. I don't have that kind of money lying around.

To make matters even worse, we have decided to change lawyer as the present is BLOODY, FREAKING LAZY BITCH!!! who delays meetings, does not answer her call. Can you imagin you telling your client that client should suits to her timing. And if she were to set up meeting, on the last hour she would cancelled them with interesting excuses. My sis had enough and decided to change the lawyer...and she refuses to returned back our money.

I need to rest my head...as work beckons me. :(

How Stressed Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 64%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.