To start off....do I kill the worker or do I strangle my Dbo for not understanding my frustration.
Gue kalo diberi waktu bisa ku cekik-cekik semua kambing-kambing di kantor. Biar puas rasa hatiku. biar mereka tahu betapanya jelek perbuatan mereka itu. Sikap acuh dan tidak acuh. Membiarkan kemarahan ku memuncak. Kapan, bisa ku bertahan. Kapan, mereka akan bertanya jiwa aku bisa terawat oleh sikap mereka yang sentiasa mengherankan orang lain. Perangai yang tidak pantas disebut manusia.
Aduh, sama sekali buat ku pusing selalu. Apakah ini dinamakan makan gaji orang besar. Jiwa ku rasa tertekan. Ingin memberontak. Ingin bebas. Ingin bersendirian. Ingin ku tinggalkan kompeni dengan keadaan yang huru-hara. Biarin...mereka rasakan betapa sakitnya hati ku ini.
Mahu ajak ngobrol sudah nggak bisa. Sibuk disini, sibuk disitu. Apa yang dikejarnya? Bila akan ku bicara?
English frustration post...sorry everyone who is reading my blog..I am not feeling well. I hate my assitant Siti Anizah Binte Ridwan for leaving me 2nd time. She not only don't have the courtesy to tell me that face to face. Because of her, I felt humiliated. I felt degraded. I felt bad. I felt betrayed. I would never trust Malay people who looks for a job where I am working. Not ever, not one single soul.
Yes I publicise her name her as I don't think she is capable of holding a job down. and the equally useless husband..Muhammad Isa Bin Muhammad Ali. He is addicted to cough syrup. He is a drug-addict. He abuses the cough syrup. He drinks to get high. He drinks that to get away from family problems. he drinks that to run away from resposibilities. As a result of his incapabilities of providing for his family. He pulls his wife down. Instead of fighting against it, she too chooses to sink with him. She chooses to ruin her life. They are both murderers. They have a son name Muhammad Faiz Bin Muhammad Isa. He is 2yrs old this year. Both useless parents not working and who do you think would have to provide for the innocent life. In other words, they are both murderers. They choose to give in to lust....create a life yet refuse to maintain and nourish the life.
That boy is better off in the orphanage. At least, the people there..even though lack parental love....they would give him shelter, food, education and bring him up to be a better person instead of their useless parents.
Before I was discharge from hospital, the nurse had prevented me from bringing my son home. I'm a single mother. To them I am deem incapable of bringing up a life without a husband. 3years later, my son is doing and growing up well...full of warmth and love at home. Next year, he would be starting school. The society choose to judge me coz I am not married. Choose to believe that I am not stable. Choose to believe that I'm incapable. What about the parents that I just mentioned. Why judge me....judge all. My son would never get the benefits what the parents got for their son but they choose to ruin his future.
My Dbo thinks that each time I open my mouth is basically nonsense and trying to bring down other poeple. Yes, that freaking idiot Bangladeshi worker skipped work and I get the blame for it. Is that even fair. I told him to provide with a new worker...he is not capable of doing anything besides nodding his head and said that his hand is tied and PM said there is a limit to one dept. I asked one question...what is the poiint of having a worker who can't perform his duty when the nature of our job is rather delicate. Anytime the diaphragm wall can collapse...who do I blame when that happens = for their incapability for making a simple decision.
I'm at the stage whereby I have develop the nodding manner. Any thing that I said is like talking to wall. My opinions are not matter. So don't blame me when the Kallang factories roof collapse onto someone's head or the diaphragm wall caves in taking with them hundreds of people living in the HDB flats surrounding the excavation area.
I rather be overly concerned now than regret later.
The new Myammar geotechnical engineer Mr Sumo is puzzled at Dbo decision. Choosing to put the things aside instead of tackling the problem. As I said that is normal in Kambing company. I think it's about time I move on to a place where people requires my service.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
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